Today is Dragonfly Day; actually the kids call it Joshua day. Joshua was our second child, our first son. Dragonflies have always reminded me of Joshua because they are big, they are beautiful and they are silent, just like he was the day he was born 11 years ago. Joshua died just days before he was born due to complications of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
I had so many questions after we lost our son. I was an empty-armed mother filled to the brim with grief & heartache. One day, I was having a rather loud & irreverent internal conversation with God as I looked at the one picture I have of Joshua, when my nephews came tearing into my home. I quickly threw the picture into my Bible for protection from my nephews who have autism. I later hunted through the Bible trying to find where the picture had landed and was completely shocked at where it lay:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for teh LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
I am one who has grown to believe that God loves each of us & hates none of us. I have no proof of God's existence nor can I prove His in-existence. I my own studies that I will discuss when invited to and my life with the circumstances within that have helped me understand that God loves me through my heart aches, through my body aches & illnesses, and that there is so much more than this painful life. I believe His Son, Jesus, was the very first Hippie who died & lived again to love everyone & wants everyone to just allow Him to.
I've not posted a lot because I've been traveling back to California. Below is a video of sometime I spent near Joshua's resting place, it was a sweet & pleasant time to remember that God is with me wherever I go.